Get Into The Groove

Through therapy and listening to the advice of good friends and family....and then myself, I have learned to take it easy and take the time I need to process the tragedy from three weeks ago (check last blog post from 10/29). With that said, I am starting to get anxious about the decrease in momentum in The Canvas Confessional, including the December due commissioned piece I started over a month ago.

The painting I started a month ago has been turned away for 3 weeks.

I have a few hours today to put a healthy percentage of energy into it and gosh darnit, IMMA GONNA DO IT.

Paint that shit.

Make that money.

My cousin Tania from Plymouth, MA, texted me this morning, sharing her sister in law's website of her beautiful artwork. I admit, I wasn't prepared to be jaw-on-the-floor blown away. I wish I can share it here but I'm choosing to respect her privacy. They are not paintings or drawings, but rather intricate imaginative paper/fabric/mixed media sculptural seasonal store displays for Anthropolgie. This is something to note on this blog because seeing the work brought me back to that creative headspace that I had lacked in the last few weeks. I needed it. It made me feel positive and energized. It made we want to write this blog.

Last week, I went scrounging through photo albums buried deep behind "garage sale crap" in our garage. These albums which contain 36 years of memories, namely of Antoinette and I for the sake of creating her memory poster boards for her funeral this past Monday, have been out of sight and out of mind for maybe about 5-7 years. It was a lot to go through, emotionally and physically. A ton of dusty albums that I have yet to store back in their place. (deep sigh)

CONFESSION: Through the search, I also came across my precious college sketchbook which of course, I included in the stack of albums I pulled out. Through my grieving process, I still was like "oh, yay! my sketches! fun!"

In Woodbury University as a Fashion Design major between 2000-2004, I took a ton of sketching and painting classes. In 2003, in one of my figure illustration classes, we kept a sketchbook and we were supposed to sketch one thing a day. At the time, I probably took my talent for granted. Trying to think of 21 year old Cosette right now....Definitely insecure. Shy. Introverted. Longed for connection. Seemed validation though too modest to really try. I always enjoyed sketching and painting. That much is obvious. I'm looking through my sketchbook today and patting 21 year old Cosette on the back for a job well done. I'm not gonna lie....I'm impressed. Why does it seem like more of a struggle NOW? Because I'm not trying to earn a passing grade? Because I didn't have a family and a full time job? I would like to sketch like 21 year old Cosette on a daily basis. (ok, ok....get a grip and stop judging yourself!)

These pages are filled with sketches, charcoal renderings, caricatures of college friends/celebrity photos, animals from the time my friend and I went to the LA Zoo and more. I will post more photos eventually, but here are a few from the first couple of pages.

A fashion sketch of a design I wanted my mom to make for me in 2003. She made it. I never wore it. Sorry, Mom!

Messy sketches of some cool animals chilling in their unnatural habitat at the LA Zoo.

In my dorm room one night, what should I sketch? This pair of 1970's size 6 sandals that were once my Mom's but now mine.

My friend and fellow classmate, Tonito, let me sketch him...and then probably made fun of it afterward.

Who likes drawing hands? Literally no one.

Still....I practiced drawing and painting my own hands quite a bit.